Dear Duchess of Cambridge (and your husband too, since he sort of gets credit since he’s the one who married you and all),
You may wonder why a geeky woman from the middle of the United States is sending you a letter, but I swear that I have good reason. First, my family has serious English roots. My Great Grandmother was an immigrant from Wales, and my Great Grandfather was an Anglican priest. Heck, there is even a street in London with my very obscure family name on it. It is only a block long and has a Pizza Hut, but that doesn’t matter much to me.
That isn’t the reason for writing you of course. First, I would like to thank NBC for completely screwing up and calling you Princess all damn morning. It makes why I’m writing this that much easier. I realize that you are not technically Princess Catherine yet, and likely won’t be one until William is first in line to the throne. It doesn’t matter really though because you married a real live prince.
You see, my daughter, like nearly every other preschooler in this country is obsessed with princesses thanks to those over zealous marketers at Disney. She cannot get enough of the fairy tales. In her pretend world princes marry princesses, and fight dragons and sail on boats shaped like giant Kodiak bears. All of that is well and good, but I fear that she has no concept of what it really means to be a princess, or rather, she didn’t, until I could explain you to her. You see, you are an excellent example of what I would love for her to strive to be. Minus of course marrying a prince. She can marry whomever she damn well pleases as long as they make her feel like a princess.
No, it is the fact that you are such a damn good role model. You have an education, something not even her dear mother managed to complete. You are athletic, in excellent shape (though do eat a bacon sandwich or something now), smart, funny, and well, you wear pants. That last thing is important since none of those damn Disney girls have the sense to wear pants. When it comes to convincing my very hard playing girl that maybe a dress isn’t the best idea when climbing a jungle gym or in sub zero Minnesota temperatures, I need only point to you, a real princess, who dresses for the occasion.
So, congratulations. Your wedding was gorgeous, simple, elegant, and perfect. My favorite moment of course being when William told you that you were beautiful. I think may cry again just thinking about it. Have a great honeymoon, have good sex, make pretty babies, and keep wearing the pants.