I would like it if I could string together more than 140 characters right now, but I feel like that isn’t my strong suit at the moment. I think about all I’m good for now is producing milk and snuggling with nine pounds of awesome. Forgive me for what follows.
Eventually, I will post the Pod’s birth story. I want to write it down, and remember it, because it is so incredibly different from what transpired last time. You may have notice that I attempted to post part of it, only to take it down because of the a fore mentioned trouble with making any sense. This time, in my just over 48 hours in the hospital (including labor), I floated on the euphoria of feeling like I, my body specifically, got it right. Last time, that wasn’t the case.
Maybe it was the impact of seven weeks of high blood pressure that eventually developed into pre eclampsia, maybe it was the crappy nurse who abandoned my drugged up, IV’d, first time mom alone for six hours when I got to the postpartum unit. Maybe it was the fact that the perfect storm of hormones leaving my system began when M had failed at eating, I at nursing, and she had gotten herself an extra day in the hospital, while I was released, but the last two nights that she was there were hell.
A had stayed with me as long as he could tolerate, but at the time his back was the worst it had been and we knew that him staying the night was not a good idea. So while M spent her time under the UV lights in the nursery, in between pumping to clear her jaundice and fitful sleep, I wandered the available spaces. It was there that I found a computer in the family waiting room. A computer with internet access, and access to my email. I remember this huge feeling of relief when I realized that I could communicate with the outside world. I emailed everyone in my address book about her arrival, crying the whole time because I knew she wasn’t home yet, where she belonged. Every email response I got helped bolster me a little inbetween feedings and pumpings. I also emailed my sister-in-law about the jaundice, also crying I’m sure. I remember how good it felt to not be alone.
M, shortly after coming home, still tinged a little yellow from the jaundice.
The video should be an obvious one, since considering their early arrivals, I have now given birth to pretty good sized babies. Yay for the Big Baby!