I have at least three posts I’ve started since I went back to work.  None of them are finished, and I doubt they will be.

I am back.  I missed it.  No really, I did.  M is so much happier in school (daycare).  H is getting in to the swing of things, drinking all I can pump, sleeping well when she gets home, sleeping better every day at school.

I like my job.  I am lucky to be returning to some new responsibilities.  The kind of growth and change that makes coming in to work really fun.  I like work.  I like being outside the home.  I refuse to justify it.

I am sick to death of having to justify my working outside the home.  I am disgusted that it seems that the ones I have to justify it the most to are the other women who work.  Haven’t we all moved past this?

I am happy.  I am in the best place for me, my family, my friendships.  So now anyone who feels differently can shove it up their…

The baby, will do great with it, and it won’t be because “she won’t know anything different”.  No, she will do great with it because she will have a mom who is happy, fulfilled, and ready to give her all she has when she gets home with no resentment or frustration.  She has a mom who leaves her desk two to three times a day to impersonate a cow so she can get the best nutrition possible.  A mom who actually looks forward to the 4 AM feeding.  From the slight nuzzles at my breast to wake me up, to the cooing before she latches on and falls back asleep while she eats.  I am not bothered by filling bottles and packing lunches so I can eat at my desk to make time to pump.  I do not mind it at all because I am happy.  I get it all.  I get a good job that I love, the ability to swear freely, and I get the best of my kids while giving them the best.  A mom who is happy.

I am done lying and saying I do it for the health insurance, or the preschool, or anything else.  I do it because I want to.  We all have choices, and I’m not going to question that garish thing you call clothing, so leave my being a working mom alone.

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  1. Posted September 13, 2011 at 8:48 pm | Permalink

    My 2.5 month old starts daycare the week after next when I return to work full-time. I returned part-time this week and love it–if I were a present mom all day, the redundancy and effort would wear on me. Yes, my work days can be exhausting, but stimulating in a way that is so different than being a mom. And when I come home, I am so thrilled to put on my mom hat and shed my work persona. He gets my full attention, commitment and my enthusiasm. I picked a daycare where I’m certain he will be loved and cared for as well as he would at home. I don’t think that’s impossible–especially as the daughter of a home daycare provider who has cared for generations of kids, some of whom are adults and want to send their own kids to her daycare. It’s so sad that others judge and don’t see the benefits of all of this.

    Additionally, studies show that daycare–a good one–IS good for kids. Kids in quality daycares learn socialization skills earlier, they have better communication skills and cognitive development and they consistently perform better in school.

    So good for you! I think H & M are lucky to have you as is your job.
    Tina recently posted..Well THAT didn’t last long!

  2. Posted September 14, 2011 at 7:27 am | Permalink

    My wife was the same way – she loves her job (well, mostly) and just doesn’t have the stay-at-home personality. She, too, looked forward to any middle of the night feedings, put up with pumping at work, and things worked out great for us. And like you said, it goes better when she wants to be with the kids at the end of the day and is sane.

    It’s too bad people still judge women for working when they have kids. I really don’t get it…especially from other women. :(
    Bill recently posted..Nervous

  3. Posted September 14, 2011 at 9:20 am | Permalink

    I LOVE this post and agree 100%. I love my job and I love that my kids love their school and when they were younger, their daycare. I am much happier when I work. My kids know this and I know this and everyone is cool. I hate when people ask me if I wish I could stay home. Hell no. Our family rocks just the way it is, thank you very much. :) I love that you can swear freely in your office. ha! xoxo
    suzi recently posted..Why #MNBlogCon Rocks

    • asprout
      Posted September 14, 2011 at 9:40 am | Permalink

      Advantage to working in IT with a bunch of guys. I am sure I swear a bit too much, and I definitely got a little crazy the first few days back, but it is nice to let loose when it gets stressful. Since it is IT, that happens more than I would like some days.

  4. Posted September 14, 2011 at 9:50 am | Permalink

    Amen, sister!! Every mother knows her own family best. I enjoy being a WOHM …which is not to say there aren’t days where I daydream about staying home but I know that the reality of that looks much different than my daydream. I agree that my job fulfills me in a way that allows me to be a present, happy, engaged mother to my son when work hours are over.

    Also, my kid goes to a great daycare and I really enjoy having “partners” that are contributing to his childhood. He learns stuff there that I know I would be challenged to provide if I were staying home. And I like it that he has a little network of adult caregivers who he trusts and loves.
    birdie recently posted..Moooove over

  5. Posted September 14, 2011 at 12:16 pm | Permalink

    I am there, or almost there at least. Somedays I long to work from home, but on those days when I am actually at home more than the norm then I long for work. So I’m not sure where that puts me other than wanting both/and all the time.

    • asprout
      Posted September 14, 2011 at 12:29 pm | Permalink

      I think wanting both valid too. We all strive for that balance that works for us, no matter what it is. No one likes being forced in to anything. I admit, I don’t think I would like work as much if it kept me away from my kids for 10+ hours a day, like it does my husband. I like that I work four blocks from their daycare, and that I can still go on field trips with them. I’m lucky to be in a place where I have a choice and can make it work.

  6. kristen
    Posted September 14, 2011 at 1:06 pm | Permalink

    I strongly believe I’m a much better parent because I do work. I spent so long training for my career that what I do is such a big part of who I am and the idea of not coming back to work after maternity leave (and the potential layoff, which is another story) scared me tremendously. As you mention above, we strive to balance work and motherhood, and I’ve finally feel after 11 months I’ve hit upon that balance.

  7. Posted September 27, 2011 at 3:25 pm | Permalink

    Love that you are standing up for it. As a working mom I hate the judgements as well. More so I hate the looks and questions like “Oh you’re going out of town?And your husband is going to watch them all on his own?” I think its incredibly demeaning to him to imply that he’s incapable of watching his own children and to me that as a mother I’m no longer able to leave town for work, fun or otherwise.
    Marta recently posted..Let’s Talk About the Serious Stuff: Self Worth

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