I should have gotten out my laptop days ago, but I was so enjoying working on being one with the couch. I just never got around to it. There is so much I want to write about, so many things inspired by having spent a silly amount of time on Twitter, but first I need to get a few things out of the way. Things like lessons learned from the tonsillectomy.
So, things I learned:
Its hurts. They say that it hurts, but this hurts more than an episiotomy with a half ass epidural. After you give birth, even with an episiotomy and a tear, they give you ibuprofen. After a tonsillectomy they give you a giant bottle of liquid percoset.
Then it hurts more. Yes, really.
They put silly things in your instructions like how you should eat a balanced diet of soft foods. Instead you eat a lot of carbs. I would kill for some red meat right now. Also, tomatoes, and citrus fruits, and a damn salad. What I wouldn’t do for a salad.
You will eat so many liquids that you will find you trouble chewing read food when you can finally eat it. Maybe there was a reason they suggested chewing gum. Hrm…
Your tongue will be numb, swollen, and sort of… weird.
Avoiding pain killers because you think you can’t parent when high on them is a very bad idea. You can parent on pain killers just fine, without them you are a stark raving crying bitch.
There are all kinds of foods that are scratchy that you didn’t realize were. Things like turkey sausage.
Bananas sting raw throats.
There needs to be cheesecake delivery in Minneapolis. Cheesecake without crust, because right after surgery they make you eat graham crackers and you debate punching the nurse.
I like popsicles, a lot. They are one of my favorite cold treats. I especially like citrus popsicles. Because it is what I like, its what I got for recovery. That may be the worst thing I’ve ever done.
If you think the throat pain sucks, the ear pain will make you cry for sure. They put it in the paperwork they give you but holy hannah. Wake you up in the middle of the night pain. The pain killers barely touch it.
I’ve lost weight, like a lot. I hope half of it stays off. If I get the go ahead to go back to work next Wednesday, I’ll do a weight update. I’m afraid of a few things related to it though.
The best part of the tonsillectomy is that you only have to do it once.