I feel the need to confront my weight loss, or lack there of. I said a bunch of shit, then I didn’t deliver. This really only matters to me. This isn’t anything I owe anyone else unless you count my family for the monthly deduction from my account for Weight Watchers and the Y.
For a month, maybe a month and a half, I ate uncontrollably. I had gone months without losing any weight, though really, that was my fault for not tracking, even though I was working out regularly. Then someone got the flu. Then Thanksgiving, then someone else, then me. Excuses really. I just felt out of control. I binged. I ate “all of the things.”
I can look back now and go “damn, I was really fucking stressed out”, but at the time, I just looked at myself and said “you fucking idiot, you slob, where is your goddamn self control”, none of which actually helped the situation.
Now, I’m less stressed. Now I can eat semi normally. I feel better, but the commitment to working out and eating better, well, there is room for improvement.
This whole ADHD realization thing has made me realize that routine will save my soul. So, I am on a mission for routine, and with it control. I get it now, why people who struggle with addiction need to hand things over to a higher power. Sometimes, you just need to let go. Realize you can’t pull it off wholly on your own. I need routine to be my higher power. I need routine so that I can regain control of the things that will never fit into a schedule. Gain control by losing free will, or something like that.
So, goals, routines, verbalizing so that I can make sure I’ve thought it all out. (well, not verbal, verbal, because internets and I will never video blog)
- Make ahead veggies in portions for lunches for the week.
- Make ahead fruits for the week.
- Do laundry and have a laundry day for each family member.
- Get rid of clothes, keep a smaller wardrobe, but take better care of it
- Organize my desk
- Throw away paper clutter
- Shop only with a list
- Lay out clothes for toddler & me the night before (no more last minute laundry)
- Pack purse/computer bag the night before
- Keep breakfast foods stocked in the house for less eating out
- Wake up earlier
- Go to bed earlier
- Get a pill container for meds, like a cute old lady
- Work out three times a week, start doing crunches/pushups/planks at home.
I feel like I should make myself a sticker chart, where the prize at the end is something from Etsy/Pinterest.